Hi Reader,

I've been thinking a lot about the prevailing idea in the feeding kids community that we have to "expose" the kids to new foods day in and day out in order for them to one day eat those foods. That there always has to be a new or less familiar food on their plate. That the ability to constantly eat new foods is somehow the holy grail of feeding little kids.

This came up for me recently because I was thinking about how the lunches we make for our kids now are often so different than the ones we had when we were kids. (I quite literally ate a turkey and cheese sandwich with a green apple for 12 straight years, no ice pack, no fancy lunchbox. And yet, I eat a wide range of foods now.)

Not to mention how the sheer cost of food right now that can make it hard to shop for grocery staples, let alone adding on extra foods you aren't quite sure anyone will like.

The thing that's pretty clear to me is that we're defining "exposure" MUCH too narrowly.

We know from the research that it can take kids repeated exposures to foods before they eat them. Whether that's 5 times or 15 times may depend on the child's age and personality, but before we get too stuck in those figures we need to remember this: For kids to feel comfortable enough to try a food, they often need to feel safe and in control. And that often means that they may simply need time for the food to become familiar.​

(This matters because we also know that when kids are forced to eat foods, they often have negative associations with those foods and are even more reluctant to try them on their own. There is a study I would like to cite here, but I cannot for the life of me find it, but I will keep digging if anyone wants it.)

“Kids need to see things consistently in different settings by different people. It’s normal that your child doesn’t try things in the beginning and that they reject them in the beginning. It’s a normal phase of development,” says feeding therapist Jenny Berry.

“We can expose kids to a wide variety of foods by eating it ourselves, by having them be involved in the preparation of it, by taking them to the grocery store. We can expose them to a lot of foods without putting that insane pressure on ourselves,” she says.

Kids are exposed to foods in ALL sorts of ways. It does not need to actually be a serving on their plate. It does not need to go in their mouth to count, either.

We can create familiarity with food and increase food literacy in the ways that Jenny mentioned above, and also by reading books about food, through watching cooking shows together (this Today show segment aired on Monday where Dylan made one of my recipes with her kids—maybe your kids would like to see it!), through their classmates at school, through watching us eat foods they currently have no interest in.

Seeing foods around them, in all sorts of ways, adds up over time.

And when it comes to actually shopping for groceries, you don't have to work your way down a list of 100 foods (unless that brings you joy!), but you can try these simple ideas for bigger picture variety:

• Buy one shape of pasta one week and a different one the following. (Or cracker or color of rice or what-have-you.)
• Sometimes buy one color of a produce item (such as apples or bell peppers) and other weeks choose a different color.
• Try the granola bars that are on sale this week and opt for a different kind next week.
• Head to the farmer's market and see what looks good that's in season right now. (Like one thing! It doesn't have to be everything.)

If we think of the food that our kids are eating AND seeing, touching and learning about, we can broaden how we think about "exposure"—and also success—and perhaps take some of the pressure off of ourselves. And maybe if we have less stress as we approach the table, the kids will be able to feel calmer, too. (Maybe?)

It's normal for kids to want the same foods that they trust—that's actually expected in this phase of their development—so giving them a little more leeway to build those layers of confidence and trust over a much longer span of time is one of the easiest ways to help them try more foods as they grow.

Learning to eat is not a race.

I say this mainly because I both want families to have a lot of resources for easy recipes to try—for all sorts of foods—and also to take a breath through the pressure we may encounter to "get" the kids to eat a range of foods right now...if it's causing us stress. The messaging about "exposure" may hit each of us differently, but no matter what, there are always options to make adjustments with our unique families in mind.

(Have a question about feeding your family? Simply reply to this email! I'm going to write specifically about lunch next week, so also send in any lunch questions!)

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